No one ever really knew how truly weird and deranged I was growing up. Partially because they didn’t expect it, and partially because I am really really good at keeping secrets. I was friends with every kind of human I could find, never got picked on, and was still always a square peg somehow.
The summer of 8th grade something happened. My girlfriends all started to become hoebags and my boyfriends all started to become alcoholics. (this has yet to change.. sorry guys, but it’s true) I fell hard in crush-love with a guy 10 years older than me and felt like I needed to have something relevant to talk about (this also has not changed) Consequently, I started to discover music and books that were beyond my circle of popular friends. I wandered around Looney Tunes and bought a cd I’d never heard of and then wandered around the library and picked up a book I’d never heard of. Nestled between the bookshelves of my new mothball scented summer home I popped out Ready to Die from my Discman and in placed the fresh new copy of OK Computer then immediately opened The Virgin Suicides… within about 10 minutes my brains started to drizzle out of my ears. I left 30 minutes later to buy a pack of cigarettes for the first time (no one I.D.s you in NY for anything ever) and went to my secret hiding spot. Laid out in the bleachers that were relatively empty except for when the town would hold bi-weekly fire truck drag races and bi-daily weed smoking races held by the older kids that in a year would end up being my friends, something shifted in my brain. I didn’t give a fuck about being a square peg anymore, and decided to just try to secretly grow up without hurting anybody in the process.
I stole The Virgin Suicides from the library and eventually dropped off a new copy that I bought with babysitting money. I enclosed a note with 87 cents taped to it (my late fees) that said:
“ Dear Librarian that drives the orange Dodge Dart,
I love your car, and I stole this book from you over the summer. I’m sorry, but you don’t want it back because I wrote all over it. Here’s a new one. I promise I will try not to steal any more books from you, but if I do, I promise I will replace them.
Whoops,
k-n.l.bâ€
“Always keep your promises and always pay cash.â€- My Grandma
I’m babbling about this because I saw this trailer awhile back and have been meaning to share it. It looks like something I would have liked more than a decade or so ago, which means I probably still would. These are the kind of kids I always tried to be friends with because they were so fucking fascinating to me. We liked the same things, wore black on Cobain’s birthday and didn’t talk about it, and yet we were so very different. This trailer makes me want to look through my yearbook and then creep out on facebook for an embarrassingly long time.

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P.S.
I still have my copy of that book, it still smells like mothballs, and I still have my original OK Computer. (sentimental as shit).
Whoops,
Ace Bitch