This video is… funny (?) to me not because of the intended humor, but because instead of creating a parody of over budgeted music videos in general, it looks like they’re making fun of the one they are making while they’re making it…  the song sucks. I know I’m hating… but I put the video on mute and tried to watch it with other music… didn’t help. I want to laugh at this, but instead I’m laughing at this.

here is the visual for hitting the nail on the head, and probably one of the best music videos ever, like ever.

We’re making something again.

I’m trying to get some insurance so when someone accidentally loses an arm, we’re covered.

This is what I’m dealing with:

and then I was like…

and then they were all like…

so I was all like…

and then I had 87 different agents calling to see if I was interested in insuring my ass.

they win.

I’m a strong believer that if you spend your whole life focused on how terrible your life was growing up, you turn out to be an adult in your 30s that never actually grew up. Most people blame their parents for what’s wrong with them- commitment issues, relationship issues, daddy issues, just fucking issues. It’s an expensive and pointless habit. I don’t blame my parents. That’s too obvious, mine are nuts. Divorce, affairs, illegitimate children- that’s fine, we all have that. (right?) I’m way more realistic; I blame people like John Hughes and Rob Reiner for what’s wrong with me. 16 Candles and When Harry Met Sally have done irreversible damage to my perception of reality. Love is only real if it’s impossible, ridiculous, and painful- because it all works out in the end. Deep inside my rational brain lives a crazy woman. This woman believes that somewhere in between Jake Ryan and Harry Burns will be her best friend, and after years of hilarious banter, hijinxxx and embarrassingly failed relationships they will find themselves at the end of a long beginning with each other… and live happily-ever-after.

Not until a recent conversation with one of my (few) girlfriends about a new unhealthy crush, did I realize the most egregious offender of my idea of normal behavior. “Oh my god. You’re like Julia Roberts, in every movie.” Then something clicked, or spun, or I don’t know, but JULIA ROBERTS, you bitch. I would never consider her my idol or role model, but she has inadvertently crawled into my brain when I wasn’t looking and ruined everything.

This morning I started watching My Best Friend’s Wedding because nobody was around and realized that my friend was right. Julia Roberts taught me at a young age that it’s okay to be an unrealistic lunatic, and messy with people, and unstable. I mean, has anyone even seen Mystic Pizza? Homegirl thinks the rich guy she’s dating is cheating on her, so she goes ahead and dumps barrels of seafood via pick-up truck into his convertible that happens to be in the parking lot of the restaurant that he’s enjoying dinner… with his sister. Crazy… and, well, awesome. (Also in that movie her younger sister has an affair with the dad of the children she baby-sits for. That did not go unnoticed.)

Back to MBFW, are you kidding me? It doesn’t even end in her favor and yet she is still on top. After all of the insanity, devious mischief and grand movie moments, you are somehow led to believe that it could happen in real life- and I did believe. I drank the friggin Kool-Aid and fudged the ending so that the salty attitude, big haired, chain smoker wins. I can’t believe it JR, you really got me. I am so pissed at you.

YEAH RIGHT, Julia Roberts, yeah right.

shit.

But then, you watch an episode of Magnum, PI and you see a shot where the boom mike lowers into the frame. And all of a sudden this is a great, great day. Yes. Life is good.

http://whatsthebigdealnow.com

aslo… Jeanie is up. Finally.
But watch it on the youtube.
click
www.youtube.com/danielstessen.

part two is different aka shorter on youtube than on the PF site. thus i recommend it.

Your life will be exactly the same after watching it.
d

thought i would share some of mike garza’s work from the fireflies video.

simple as that.

what a fantastic use of time!

bye
d

but this is what it looks like after a week.  To be honest I thought there would be more. But hey, if I learned anything from this exercise its that you will be glad if you choose our soft.  Wait, what?

vid spotted by Jason Kaplan

http://www.sendspace.com/file/12qk62

my friend and fellow maniac Mike Elling makes a great mixtape every month.

This month’s list looks like this…

The XX – Intro
Discovery – Swing Tree
Amanda Blank – Shame On Me
Delorean – Seasun
New Boyz – You’re A Jerk
The Big Pink – Dominos
Simian Mobile Disco – Off The Map
Kings of Convenience – Mrs. Cold
The Dodos – Fables
Small Black – Despicable Dogs
Bad Veins – Crosseyed
La Roux – Colourless Colour
Wave Machines – Keep the Lights On
The Raveonettes – Suicide
The Temper Trap – Sweet Disposition
Washed Out – Feel it All Around
Stellastarr* – Move On
Band of Skulls – Death By Diamonds and Pearls
Mew – Beach
Throw Me The Statue – Noises
Sheena Easton – Strut
The Dead Weather – I Cut Like a Buffalo

so as he put it.
burn it to a disk and put it in your car.

if you have one.
d

mike also states:
**And if you like what you hear, please support these artists and the music industry by purchasing their full length albums.

I am at zero.

So, the next time I
open that mailbox
will be on September 4th.

Lets see how many I accrue!

daniel_stessen@yahoo.com just in case you think you can create something that makes into the junk folder.
I’ll write you back and let you know if you did it and then mail you a dollar.
I have money on David Stokes.

Yahoo!
should be a thumbs down instead of an exclamation mark but I don’t have photoshop on this computer.

talk soon
d

*more than three- a figure created by Spirit Animal.

No one ever really knew how truly weird and deranged I was growing up. Partially because they didn’t expect it, and partially because I am really really good at keeping secrets. I was friends with every kind of human I could find, never got picked on, and was still always a square peg somehow.

The summer of 8^th grade something happened. My girlfriends all started to become hoebags and my boyfriends all started to become alcoholics. (this has yet to change.. sorry guys, but it’s true) I fell hard in crush-love with a guy 10 years older than me and felt like I needed to have something relevant to talk about (this also has not changed) Consequently, I started to discover music and books that were beyond my circle of popular friends. I wandered around Looney Tunes and bought a cd I’d never heard of and then wandered around the library and picked up a book I’d never heard of. Nestled between the bookshelves of my new mothball scented summer home I popped out Ready to Die from my Discman and in placed the fresh new copy of  OK Computer then immediately opened The Virgin Suicides… within about 10 minutes my brains started to drizzle out of my ears. I left 30 minutes later to buy a pack of cigarettes for the first time (no one I.D.s you in NY for anything ever) and went to my secret hiding spot. Laid out in the bleachers that were relatively empty except for when the town would hold bi-weekly fire truck drag races and bi-daily weed smoking races held by the older kids that in a year would end up being my friends, something shifted in my brain. I didn’t give a fuck about being a square peg anymore, and decided to just try to secretly grow up without hurting anybody in the process.

I stole The Virgin Suicides from the library and eventually dropped off a new copy that I bought with babysitting money. I enclosed a note with 87 cents taped to it (my late fees) that said:

“ Dear Librarian that drives the orange Dodge Dart,

I love your car, and I stole this book from you over the summer. I’m sorry, but you don’t want it back because I wrote all over it. Here’s a new one. I promise I will try not to steal any more books from you, but if I do, I promise I will replace them.

Whoops,

k-n.l.b”

“Always keep your promises and always pay cash.”- My Grandma

I’m babbling about this because I saw this trailer awhile back and have been meaning to share it. It looks like something I would have liked more than a decade or so ago, which means I probably still would. These are the kind of kids I always tried to be friends with because they were so fucking fascinating to me. We liked the same things, wore black on Cobain’s birthday and didn’t talk about it, and yet we were so very different. This trailer makes me want to look through my yearbook and then creep out on facebook for an embarrassingly long time.

 

P.S.

I still have my copy of that book, it still smells like mothballs, and I still have my original OK Computer. (sentimental as shit).

Whoops,

Ace Bitch

click to try!

Try it. It is fun and illuminating.

Such a Tramp
Are we going to the Lex?
You totally stole my toothpaste!

You love this town
Did you have the baby over this week?
Fuck You

I got us a Prius
Was it sitting in a bloody mary?
You flatter me

You guys lost?
I’m never in the mood anymore.
Are you awake?

What’s happening later?
See what I mean about SF?
I’m so Sensitive!

Yes you are, Whitey
The place is crawling with them
With happy endings?

holy shit.
they are doing it.
this is classic sketch- taking me back to the likes of The Ben Stiller Show, UCB, and The State.

talk soon.
d

ps. Happy Birthday Hitchcock and others.

The Realistic Hope For America Plan
holy shit

…and i’m an excellent driver.

so fuck you rohn rusack, go ahead and buy my favorite shirt if you have to.

i don’t even care.

here’s the artist responsible… his bio reminds me of a less polite d.stess, and he’s pretty hot.

use your cell phone for something useful. text someone a baby.